Friday, May 27, 2011

I'm sorry

I think I need a t-shirt that says,
"I'm sorry for the things I say. I have no idea what I'm talking about."

How many times do I make statements about issues that are completely unfamiliar to me?
How often do I speak with authority about things I know nothing about?
Is it my arrogance or my naivete? Probably both.
How many times must I have had said hurtful comments to people without even realizing the impact of my words?

Some things seem so black and white.
Until you are living through them.

The heart that aches cannot be quantified.
It cannot be soothed by the mental knowledge of one who hasn't walked it's path.

How can a woman with a house of children understand the woman waiting for a child.
How can the newly wed understand the struggle of staying married through the years.
How can a young mom understand the pain of an older mom with an estranged child.
How can someone with no addiction understand the slavery of one with the addiction.
How can one talk of infidelity without first living through it.
How can one speak all-knowing about the effects of abortion without having had one.
How can one without money speak of what they would do with money.
How can one with money speak of the plights of the poor.
How can one talk of abuse without having been abused.

We know the answers to such hurtful things.
In our minds.
It's different to live the answers.
It's different to live the answers.

We speak our opinions and they are most often scripturally based.
We share our thoughts all the time.
I share my thoughts all the time.
I speak of things I don't know.
I even dare speak confidently and boldly of these things that I do not know.
Who am I?
How many people have I hurt?

My heart was squeezed last night.
A comment made...truthful in it's statement...personal to me.
I knew this particular sin. I've lived this particular sin. It's not as clear as everyone thinks
It's worse. It's more painful. It's more destructive. It takes more energy to walk through it than I thought possible. It can't be summed up in a single statement.

"You don't know!" I wanted to say.
"You don't know!"

And then a second later I was making a comment.
On something I knew nothing about.
I'd read about it. Watched it from afar.
So different than living it.
Who did I pierce with my words?

"Even in laughter the heart may ache." Proverbs 14:13
How often have I smiled when I wanted to weep.
How often have I done this to someone else.
How often have the words I said unleashed the pain in someone's heart.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I speak of things I do not know.

"Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share it's joy." Prov. 14:10

Only God knows the burdens we carry.
He knows.
He weeps with us.
He heals.
He redeems.

Lord, teach me to bridle my tongue.
And soothe the hearts of those who have received my ignorant words.

And someone buy me a shirt that says,
"Beware. This girl speaks of things she doesn't know."

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